Phoenix
by Dale J. Sprague
White Papers
On Connubial Etiquette
For the inevitable clash and thrash between engaging lovers, nature has prepared payment for the pains of heart that accompany such ominous encounters. Such payment must be in the form of pleasure, and furthermore, it must be heightened and prolonged enough to provide at the very least, some compensation if not an equal account for the pain. This exposition is a pitifully small offering, yet it is hoped that it will make some contribution toward the achievement of some compensation, or balance, if not actually helping tip the scale, even if only slightly in favor of the subject connubial blessings and sacred pleasures therefrom.
In the interest of mellowing the extreme anxiety aroused from the great gulf between two completely separate and distinct species, which, at some point or other in the course of life, the great embarkation must begin, the great expectation of bliss, and at the very least, for the dark compelling drive within all sexually predisposed, to maintain the continuous movement of life's posterity, in that, the vast gulf between that grand masculinis, overlord to the territories of outer world, and sovereign feminis, grand mistress and avatar of the vast dark regions of the inner world, be spanned with the least abuse and physical harm..with rather, as it is hoped surely by the intrepid lover aspiring to receive the renowned gentle sweet favors of the beloved, an intention to effect the greatest and loving endearments for a loving lasting return.
In keeping with a long standing tradition, prudence very well indeed, cognitive of the purpose and deed of connubial bliss, tells us first to reflect briefly on past relationships between the gladly expectant lovers and the radiant expectations of the belov'ds. The origin of the beloved and lover relationship is obscure because it originates so far back in history. However, from only brief research, one may readily assume that once the incarnation of pleasure'seeking appetite became self seeking and self entertaining, and due to the hardships of an ever changing and often unforgiving environment, such an incarnation became less and less successful with its effort to satisfy its appetite for pleasure. Thuswise, one may further assume that these incarnations began to differentiate into two, providing through the course of endless generations of trial, pain, and pleasure, two entirely separate yet mutually conforming entities, each bearing the necessary fit, form, and function, and hopefully..values, aspirations, and perhaps a bit of humor necessary to carry on amid the stress of a difficult world and environs of dichotomous existential mandates. Happily, it seems, has their mutual roles evolved. No sooner do we observe the slightest gesture toward one another, do we notice how well they have become respectively formed. How well indeed, they have come to serve one another.
With reminiscence of this happy result, let us begin with simple basics....appearance, fit, and tidiness. As we have previously observed, the beloved and lover have evolved to accommodate one another. Their form and fit becomes naturally incarnate with no special effort or knowledge required of each subspecies. Having been so specifically formed to one another, there is no special need for apparel or adornments, except perhaps if the form and fit is desired to be altered from what is innately predisposed in order to pique imagination and play. We should mention here, in an effort to advise this special concern, that the only safe and sure way to ensure that only connubial bliss will ensue from connubial bliss, is for both the lover and beloved to completely and resolutely abstain from physically consummating the form of dialogue that can easily conclude with premature responsibilities. The well known function of the form and fit throughout countless generations has been designed and endlessly redesigned for success, not failure. Moreover, the instincts associated with these mechanisms, as they are engaged in youth...older lovers are exempt here...are the only guides that can effect the proper course that a dialogue between the lover and beloved should take. Nor is there a need necessarily, for a special program of fitness and conditioning, since this too, is naturally inherited from simple maturity of the beloved and lover. Tidiness though, is quite a different matter. While the form is given freely, tidiness is the responsibility of one's attention and vigilance. With normal practices of toiletry and grooming conducted for the purpose of casual social intercourse, most often the lover is presentable to the beloved, and likewise, the beloved's boudoir is a fitting place for the respects of the lover. Being this as it may, both beloved and lover should not feel the least bit awkward, especially if their sweet occasion was set in advance by invitation and responding honorable endorsement, to prepare themselves further than what casual social intercourse requires, or permits..if for no other reason than to give a bit more time in pleasant contemplation of the anticipated intimate reciprocation, in an effort to eliminate any possible distraction or interruption to the consuming engagement, and thereby secure the delights of afterthought thereafter.
Concerning the matter of invitation, the aspiring lover must exercise caution. For example, a direct invitation by the beloved often invites haste, and haste will, most invariably impede, if not immediately destroy the delicate sensitive a'tunement that is normally required between a lover and beloved for explicit and meaningful dialogues. Rather, matters of invitation are subtle. One might say that the subtlety of a beloved's invitation to a lover will characterize the subtlety and sensitivity of the resulting dialogue between them...should the lover be able to read, and if read, accept. It is better that matters of invitation be left completely to the subtle innuendo. It is the first test, if you will, conducted by the beloved, to learn more about the lover's sensitivity and potential capacity for a sincere and meaningful endorsement of the opportunities that may be granted to the lover.
Sometimes, a well known complication due to invitation will arise. For it, we mention herewith with great emphasis...a lover should never compete with another aspirant for the favors of the same beloved. Never! This tends to set a troubled atmosphere within which only confusing signals can be transmitted. Such a confused atmosphere will more often make an astute beloved believe that aspirants insistent upon competing with one another are probably not worthy of any form of true dialogue..as flattering as the assault may be. Such developments may inspire some belov'ds to search elsewhere for the true lover, who is not only already predisposed to completely ignore the ardent aspirations of other applicants, but is wise enough to avoid or completely refrain from competing with the beloved as well.
Once the innuendo of an invitation, usually extended first by the beloved, has been correctly interpreted and respectfully accepted, the beloved and lover should engage in extended very light and casual conversation..the most forgiving form of dialogue, especially so for two becoming acquainted for the first time. Being unfamiliar with the other's inner sanctum, it is highly recommended that both provide ample time for the other's response. The forepart of light conversation is usually conducted with great care and restraint, for though subdued, the exchanges of supple gestures are the very first personal exchanges, and such gestures impart a first and lasting impression. It is always wise to be wary of a first impression that is a great sensation. Such heights leave little room for a relationship. The lover and beloved who maintain adequate patience, and foreplays the course of their light conversations with gentle and mutual respect, will be rewarded with pleasant and lasting impressions, which will later serve as suitable atmosphere for the heart'to'heart dialogue that usually follows. We will not describe here the forepart of the light conversation at length, because so often, it is successful without instruction, cue, or incentive..and the afterpart is dispensed with, in the interest of proceeding directly to the heart'to'heart dialogue. With the same interest in proceeding directly to the heart of this subject matter, we shall cease any further description altogether, of the light conversation itself, and continue forthwith without concern for, or fear of suffering the ignorance of light conversation afterparts.
Now, that the beloved and the lover have gained some familiarity with each other, and having found light conversation pleasant and easy for each other to conduct, being pleasantly enlightened by successful forepart conversation, and further resolved to directly proceed to heart'to'heart dialogue, they may be surprised to discover how at ease they actually are with one another. The lover, filled with the spirit, a proper 'coup de sur,' and the beloved, we trust, enchanted with reasonable expectations, ready themselves to enter into the deeper recesses of each other's inner sanctum. And quietly together, under the spell of the gentle light previously given from the forepart of the introductory light conversation concluded, the belov'ed and lover engage in a pleasured heart'to'heart dialogue, for which there are only two measures of advice...never cut a great sensation short, never beat a pleasure to death.
So ends our brief exposition concerning the proper etiquette between the lover and the belov'ed. In parting, for those fraught with uncertain heart and hazards of mind, I bid you fare thee well, and pray that the winds you harness for your journey will be strong and true, and that your journey will be blessed with fair weather.
And for those having overcome the anxieties of heart and having transformed the hazards of mind into enlightenment..and who are perhaps now already engaged in the sweet exchanges of connubial bliss, I bid thee most sincerely well. May your conversations be long, pleasant, and enriching for one another. Indeed, may all dialogues between the lover and the beloved be prolonged, pleasant, and mutually gratifying.