Phoenix
by Dale J. Sprague
Variations of Shakespeare
A Lover's Complaint
From off a hill whose valley echoed, a plaintful story upon a nearby gale, my spirit attends its quavering voice, and down I laid to hear the sad tuned tale. Soon I espied a maid very pale, tearing love letters, smashing her rings again and again, for her world was stormy, with sorrow's wind and rain
Upon her head a woven hat of straw, so the sun cannot see, the carcass of beauty spent and spent, labors unseen
Yet, Time had not scythed all that youth begun, nor was youth's spirit all spent.. and, inspite of life's deadly rage, some beauty peeped through the wrinkles of her inevitable age
Often did she apply the rag to her eyes, which on it had ornate characters, cleaning its silken figures in sorrow's brine which seasoned weep made round by tears, and often perceiving what contents it bears, as often uttering dark woe, carried by ambivalent winds, both high and low
Sometimes she would aim her eyes very high, as if intending to fire against the stars..but then diverted, as though to Earth they are tied. Sometimes they seem to perceive truly what is in view..but now, their gaze sees every place at once..nowhere fixed, mind and sight, mutually distracting, are mixed
Her hair, neither loose nor tied in a formal knot, proclaimed in her, indifference to show..for some, untucked, hung limp beside pale and worn cheeks, and some from her hat did flow, and true to bondage, would not break its fast, though slackly braided in loose elegance
A thousand favors from a basket she drew, of amber, of crystal once carried by a proud lover she knew..of which, one by one, into the river she threw, upon whose weeping bank she was set, adding to it, wet to wet, given by vain hands all too willing to let bounty fall. Where only want cried out for some, vain excess begged to give all
Many letters of love she had. Each she carefully regarded, sighed, and gave to the river carrier for the addressee, the life'giving sea..breaking hopeful gifts of inscribed gold and bone, biding them to find a place in the mud around silted stone, and wait for judgment day. Like a requious refrain, she'd find yet more penned in cold blood..raveled in silk, tied neat and proper, only pain did they offer
These unbound from their silk, she bathed with the pain flowing from her eyes, and softly kissing her dreams good'bye, cried..."False blood!..you harbinger of lies, what false witness did you bear! The ink is more black and damned here!"
So said, and the climax of rage spent, she was left with no regard for their content, and simply gave to the river to carry away
An old man that grazed his cattle nearby was a great spirit amid the great winds of the valley. Of court, of city, of country he lived the swiftest hours, yet wise, observing them as they flew, and privileged by age, made known his desire to know in brief, the grounds and motives of her woe. Sitting aside his worn staff at a respectful distance by her side, for from him, as his countenance makes known, is a desire to allay the weight of suffering passion in exercising a simple privilege of age
"Sir", says she, "Though in me you behold the injury of hard times, think not that I think myself old, for tis not age, but broken love that moves me to sorrow. For all the return that I have received, perhaps I could have been a spreading flower, fresh only to myself with self'applied love, and to no other"
"But woe is me, for too early did I yield to a youthful suit conducted to gain my grace. And so infatuated by nature's beauty, his eyes were struck blind by what he had so expertly refined in his mind. Love lacked a dwelling, and in desperation sought a place within his body's fairness, and with love thuswise residing in shuttered vanity, it weakened with every wanton touch of deified beauty
"His dark locks hung in crooked curls and with every chance movement of the wind, upon his lips silken strands hurl. What is sweet and easy to do, to do the Will, will aptly find...each chance movement of my eye that saw him, deeply enchanted my mind, for his features so readily serving beauty to inspire, were sent from paradise, the best that one could acquire
"Only a small show of a man was upon his chin. His newborn down only began to appear, like unshorn velvet covering eternal youth, whose surface outshines the crags it seemed to bear. With inborn beauty inspiring proud beauty divine, wise sensibilities wavering stood in doubt...if, best were as fairness is, or best now, without
"His countenance was as beauteous as his form, for modest'tongued was he and thereof free. Yet, if moved by men the wrong way, such a storm was he, like the winds breathing sweet, though unruly they may be..and authorized by youth, rudeness and pride made obvious, Sincerity's absence
"How well could he ride!..and often men would say, 'Surely, the horse draws his vigor from the rider.' Noble and proud to serve, what bounding grace the steed makes! And controversy hence a question takes...whether the man is the horse?..or the horse is the man
"But the spell of controversy is soon broken, for his heart is given to the inanimate, rather than the animate taking his heart. So it truly was regarded, that all his belongings he did not grace, but that all were graced by him
"So with the lip of his subtle tongue, would he engage with arguments deep, and reply with prompt and reason strong, for his advantage still did wake and sleep. To make the weeper laugh, and the laugher weep, he had the gift, a skill divine'made, loving all passions with his means to persuade
"So indeed, from the heart did he reign, of young, of old, and sexes both enchanted to dwell with him in the places where he haunted. Thus bewitched, as his true motive intended, they dialogued for him what he would say, charming them, making their Wills obey
"Many sought his picture, to serve their eyes, to inspire their mind. Like fools, with their imagination would they play with goodly things they find of lands and mansions. Theirs is thought assigned to the object of beauty in their mind, laboring in more pleasure to give them, rather than what they truly owed to the old landlord who owns them
"So many have that never touched his hand, sweetly supposed themselves mistress of his heart. My woeful self, that did freely stand ignorant of myself in possession by the beauty object of my own creation..what with his art in youth and youth in art, did he draw my affection with his enchanting power..without thought, without caution, I gave him all my flower
"Yet, I did not, as others did, demand of him in return, nor being desired always yielded, and soon finding my honor, I so forbid, with the knowledge of others rain, the apparent foil, of this false jewel, and his amorous spoil
"But alas...whoever is shunned by another's fall, the destined ill they must themselves experience?..or the apparent danger, made clear by the details of another's fate? Counsel is readily given..and readily taken, may stop for awhile what will not stay. Yet, when impassioned, advice is not seen..but at least, by causing confusion, it will make the wits more keen
"Why should passion be satisfied by observation?..that we must suppress it just because of another's experience..to be forbidden the sweets that seem so good, and by fear, further smitten by a preaching mood. O'appetite..from judgment stand aloof! With dark palate always in fear of the fast, though reason weeps and sighs, 'It tis thy last'
"To further detail this man's untruth, and his foul beguiling refrain, I heard where his plants in others' orchards grew. I saw deceits plated by his smiling, and his vows were but panders for his vanity, for he thought that mere words are but art, and so, bastards of his butterfly heart
"And long upon these terms did I hold my maiden's heart, until he again besieged me
"Gentle maid," said he, "have pity on my suffering youth, and be not afraid of my holy vows. What I have sworn to you, to no other have I said, for feasts of love I have been called onto..until now, did I ever invite or ever woo
"All my adventures abroad from home, were led by desires of lust, not of mind, for love was not with me. They happened where neither party was true, nor necessarily kind. Pleasure readily sought sorrow low, and under the spell of sorrow, by the amount less of shame in me remained, their reproach contained
"Among the many I have seen, not one by whose flame could my heart be warmed, nor my affection put to the smallest distress, nor any of my mind ever charmed. Harm have I done to them, but never was I harmed. I kept hearts as servants, but my own was free, and reigned like a monarch, commanding
"And look at all the tributes that wounded hope has sent me, of pallid pearls and rubies red as the flush, as tokens of their passion given to me, of grief and joy from contracted spirit and encrimsoned mood, terror and peace encamped in their hearts, and outwardly they could not else but brood
"Behold these treasures of their hair! With twisted metal amorously intertwined, I have received from many ladies, their ready willingness seeking me with fair gems and deep sonnets that did amplify each stone's value and quality
"The diamond? Why, it was beautiful and genuine, its secret properties radiating. The deep green em'rald inspiring the gifts of life. The heaven'hued sapphire, and the opal blend with complex facets manifold...each stone, impassioned with sweet smile and tempting moan
"Yet, all these tokens of affections hot, of pensive mood and subdued desire ready, nature has ordered me that I hoard them not, but yield them up when I, myself, must render..that is, to you, my origin and ender, for these now are but confusions to you..yet, so I, as your servant, may become spirit cleansed for you
"Please then, with your gentle spirited hand whose soft beauty is far beyond the ability of words to praise!..receive these love tokens that burning blood and sighs did raise, for they are subject to your command. Whatever obeys me, your servant, for you obeys. All of me and all attached to me, I to you do now remand
"This cast of mind over me was inspired by a nun, a sister sanctified of the holiest order, which later her noble suitor in court she did shun, whose personal qualities made the flower of nobility dote..for she was sought many times by the richest coat, yet kept distance and her chastity forever, to spend her living, in love with things of heaven
"Yet, my sweet, what labor is it to leave what we have not, to master passion that was not sought. The nun's heart, which had never received an impression of love, indulges itself in illusions of wooing with fetters that do not constrain, and in doing so, creates a stage for all to see, her public test and renouncement to earthly love..escaping its gravity by flight, makes her absence to love valiant..but not her might
"Pardon my boast, but tis true, that the accident which brought me to her eye, brought a moment in which her guard was let down. Yet, like a fly in a cloistered cage she would rather be, even though religious love had for a moment put out religion's eye. Not to be tempted, she freely chose to be more hardened..and now, so hardened by love's shattered eye, liberty was procured for religion high
"How great then, you are!..for the broken hearts that belong to me have poured all their affection into my well, and now from me, I flow into your ocean. I was heavy for them, and you are now heavy for me. Tis your victory, that you have gathered all my affections..as compounded love am I, ready to flow into your still still heart
"I had the power to charm a sacred nun, who, disciplined..aye, dieted upon heaven's grace, stumbled under the spell of her beauty self'made, in that moment when I filled her eye, and love's beauty made chastity die, causing all sacred vows into darkness fade. 'O most powerful love!..conviction, bond, nor restriction...for you are all, and all is of you'
"When your beauty did incarcerate, principles become but stale examples to forsake. When you inflamed imagination, wealth, law, kindred, and fame become impediments to eliminate..for love's eternal war produces an uncommon peace, against rule, against reason, unabashed and shameless, and sweetens from the suffering pangs it bears, the bitterness in life of all oppression, disillusion, and dark fears
"Now, for the sake of all these hearts that do upon mine depend, feeling mine upon the brink of break, with bleeding groans they lay prone, and to you their plea they humbly extend, to withdraw your advance against my battered heart, and lend a soft audience to my sweet intention, and a believing soul to my sincere oath, that would gently advance and undertake to support my love, my devotion..both"
"With all this said," says she, "his watery eyes lowered whose sight until then, was leveled on my face. To each cheek, a river runs from a fall with brinish current under the guise of gentle grace, which sparkled like fine crystal making bright his cheeks of glowing roses, carrying his flame through the waters which their hue encloses
"Wise Sir," said I, "what an uncanny witchcraft lies in the small orb making one tear! But with the flooding of the eyes, what rocky heart from water would not wear? Or what breast so cold would not be warmed here? Cold modesty..hot wrath of Will...both gave fire and extinguished the chill
"For though his passion is but an art of craft, even there did my reason dissolve into tears..and there, I doffed my white stole of chastity, and shook'off my sober guards and civil fears. I appear to him as he to me..all melting, yet our medicinal tincture of tear this difference bore...his poisoned me, and mine, did him restore
"In him is an abundance of subtle matters, which becomes applied in a magician's craft, of burning blushes, or weeping waters, or swooning paleness he alternately uses, as it serves his purposes..as it best deceives, to at Will, blush at lustful speech, weep at woes, or turn white and swoon at tragic shows
"Not one heart that filled his eye could escape the purpose of his burning aim, showing his fair nature as both kind and tame. Veiling the aim of his craft, did he win whomever he would claim. Even against the thing he most sought, would he exclaim...when his lecherous heart was in peak form, he preached pure maidenhood and praised chastity's reform
"Thus merely with the garment of grace, the naked and concealed fiend he covered, that the inexperienced gave the tempter's place, who, like a cherubim, above them hovered. Who?..young and simple, would not be so lo'verd...aye!..me. I fell, and yet do question make, what I should do again,?..for love's sake, for those unnatural waters from his eye!..that false fire which in his cheek so glowed, or the forced thunder from his heart, or the sad breath his spongy lungs bestowed..would yet again!..betray the betrayed, and newly pervert a penitent maid